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How to use the practice of Tantric Sex in your everyday sex life.

Becoming Tantric
Embarking on a new sexual experience can bring a level of intimacy and sensual satisfaction to a relationship that you never thought possible, especially when it involves learning the Hindu practice of Tantra. Tantra, a Sanskrit word meaning "woven together" is perhaps one of the oldest examples of sexual philosophy and spirituality to be taught and practiced today.

The practice of Tantric sex began in India over 1500 years ago as a method of Hindu yoga which worships the union of men and women. The teachings were specifically created to help practitioners increase their awareness of their own energy and the energy surrounding them in order to "feel more." The goal isn't necessarily about achieving an end result such as an orgasm, but rather increasing the stimulation of the entire sexual experience. The approach is to enhance your whole experience, not just one specific action or feeling.

The entire concept of Tantra is very different from the western viewpoint of sex. Tantric sex practitioners focus on prolonging their sensations and experiences, not on getting to the orgasm as quickly as possible. With the absence of an "end goal," the rush or sense of needing to finish in order to be fulfilled no longer exists. Additionally, foreplay is not a Tantric concept, because the entire purpose is to elicit pleasure for longer periods of time. Unlike your typical sexual experience, if you don't "finish," it isn't the end of the world. This approach gives couples a new freedom to explore their bodies and their awareness of themselves and each other in an entirely new way. It turns our western way of thinking, "I need to make sure I got mine," into, "How can I make this better and longer for both of us?" For many couples, this could be a very refreshing and exciting change in their way of thinking.

There are a few basic guidelines for engaging in a Tantric sex ritual. Most are common sense concepts and could be applied to any sensual encounter you and your partner wanted to try.

1. Bathe each other.
Don't just enjoy a romantic bubble bath together, actually take time to do actions that will relax your partner and show your praise of their body. The goal is to leave the world and your worries behind and focus only on the pleasure of yourself and partner.

2. Be nourished.
The purpose of Tantric sex is to prolong your sensual experience indefinitely. This means LONG lovemaking sessions where you're bound to work up an appetite. Make food play part of your experience and don't start any sessions hungry. Share in a glass of wine and feed each other often.

3. Create a space that feels beautiful and erotic.
Clean spaces allow you to focus your thoughts solely on your partner and your pleasure. Add mood setters to heighten your pleasure, such as scented candles, soft furry blankets or rugs, seductive music, etc.

4. Be comfortable in your attire.
Fabrics that feel great on your skin are a must. Starting off with soft, flowing lingerie or a silky robe heightens the experience as you shed layers later on. Also, consider any props whose texture may increase the pleasure you feel such as silk scarves, furry mittens and even feathers.

5. Begin your love play with a massage.
Grab your favorite scented oil and take turns indulging each other in an extensive erotic massage. Focus on relaxing your partner while keeping things sensual. Remember, the goal is to take your time and let the pleasure build.

There are many other Tantric principles not mentioned here, such as breathing and mental techniques to control and prolong your pleasure. If you are interested in learning more about this philosophy, visit the website for more information and ideas.
By Jennifer Good.

Tantra: The Art of Sexual Healing

Tantra is a beautiful way to heal wounded sexuality and give you back your body and your life. It combines the ancient spiritual arts of sacred connection to yourself and others, gleaned from the wisdom traditions of many paths, including Buddhism, Hinduism, Sufism and Native American spirituality. Using deep and intentional breathing, imagery and movement, tantra moves the kundalini or vital life force (prana) through the chakras, opening and energizing them, bringing you home to yourself.

I began Tantra quite "by accident" during a time when I was most disgruntled with my sexuality, feeling so little pleasure I didn't care if I ever made love again. When a friend gifted me a 7 day workshop in Hawaii, I thought only of sun, beaches and time to laze around. When it struck me I was in a workshop on sexuality, I thought "Oh, my God, what have I done now?"

Those 7 days changed my life forever. I learned my body is my own, I can set boundaries and allow only touch I desire, and I can feel desire and passion even without a partner. That week restored my holy relationship with myself. I learned that this body I'd given away so often, trading sex for love, was actually designed to give me pleasure and fulfillment in ways that could bring me to the Goddess within.

Tantra opens and activates the chakras and, by moving sexual energy through them, brings up whatever blocks true passion. My workshop leaders and dakinis (assistants who come to support sexual healing) created a sacred temple in which I felt safe to explore the pain of being sexually violated as a child, breathing through it to the pleasure beneath. In the exercises I could explode in rage, shake out the blocks, and reclaim a body ravaged by incest and years of reenactment through casual sex. It was amazing to be so accepted with all of my pain, respected and supported for my deep commitment to heal.

Even when the memories were the worst and I needed to be celibate, Tantra gave me a way to recreate my sexuality and enjoy the movement of orgasmic energy through my healing issues. When I could make love, the practices guided me to connect my heart with my yoni (genitals) and enjoy a full-bodied extended orgasmic play far more fulfilling than any sexuality of my former, active life.

Now I find I can make love in hundreds of ways: through breathing alone with the full moon, running energy with the Goddess in the shower, touching hands on heart with my beloved and simply breathing love into each other, or through full, deep sexual exchange. Tantra adds the spiritual component so making love feels like worship and I feel like a Goddess being honored. Such a change. My body is now a temple and I enjoy life within it.
by Evalena Rose, M.A.

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