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Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts

Feeling Lonely? Change By Understanding A Simple Law Of Life



Loneliness is a feeling...
Loneliness is one of the scourges of humanity. It seems to affect everyone regardless of age or ethnicity. Whether you're a PhD or high school dropout, rich or poor, you're equally vulnerable. What exactly is loneliness? It is a FEELING that intimacy, understanding, friendship, and acceptance are missing from one's life. It is a FEELING of isolation or separation from others, a FEELING of being all alone. We need to realize that loneliness is nothing more than a feeling. After all, you are not your arms or legs, for they are just parts of your body. Similarly, you are not your feelings, which are just parts of your psyche.

Words are a lot like cars. Both are loaded with power. Cars are used to drive home. And words are used to drive home a point. Words and cars are very useful, but when used improperly, they can harm us. There are many poor drivers and poor thinkers because we learn about cars and words from unqualified instructors, such as our parents or friends. Now, let's get to the point. Did you ever say any of the following to yourself or others? "I am lonely." "I am sad." "I am angry." If you did, that is a misuse of language that leads to harmful effects.

Here is something to think about. The words we use imprison us or set us free. For example, if I were to say, "I AM lonely." That is just like saying, "I AM white." or "I AM a male." You see, there's nothing I can do about being white or a male. There is nothing I can do to change what I AM. So, when I say, "I AM lonely," the implication is that I cannot change. In other words, I use words to imprison myself with false beliefs.

However, when I acknowledge that loneliness is a feeling by saying, "I FEEL lonely," I open the door of my prison cell because feelings can and do change. Of course, as long as I continue to say, "I feel lonely. I feel lonely. I feel lonely," nothing will change. For although I opened the door, I have chosen to remain in the cell. To completely set myself free I have to take that extra step by saying, "I feel lonely, SO I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT."

Loneliness is much more than an inconvenience. Left unchecked, it can be a precursor to the solitary confinement of drug and other addictions. For the pain of loneliness may cause one to look for solace in drugs, alcohol, sex, or gambling. There is also the danger of loneliness developing into anxiety and depression. One can become completely immobilized by feelings of self-pity and helplessness. Also, one may try to mask pain by oversleeping or putting in long hours at the office. Finally, the stress imposed by loneliness leads to a weakened immune system, heart disease, and other physical ailments. The moral is clear. If we're suffering from loneliness, it's time to decide to do something about it.

All right, I feel lonely and want to do something about it, so what must I do? Start by understanding a simple law of life which can help solve almost any problem. That law is: You have to give away what you wish to receive. Our actions are balls that bounce back to us. A corollary of that law is: Don't give others what you don't want to receive. If I punch someone, they will punch me back. If I hug someone, they will hug me back. It's as simple as that. And that is the wisdom contained in the teaching, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Now, let's see what happens when we apply the above principle. I feel lonely. As I sink into the sea of loneliness, I decide to reach out. For the pain I experience reminds me how others must feel. So, I resolve to help lessen the suffering of others by becoming a volunteer or a friend. Perhaps I visit seniors, the bedridden, or those in prison. Or, I may befriend a lonely classmate, coworker, or neighbor. As I do so, what do you suppose happens? Yes, others eagerly look forward to my visits. By becoming a friend, I have gained friends. By offering support, I have won support. By healing the loneliness of others, I have healed myself.

Another corollary of the law of life mentioned above is: You will receive the most when you give the most. So, give of yourself, expecting little in return. Think of others, not yourself. Don't be needy because that will drain the energy of others and drive them away. Don't be needy, be a friend. And build that friendship slowly. Don't overwhelm others with your own problems. Learn to listen to others and they will listen to you. Learn to comfort others, and you will be comforted. Practice the principle of Tennessee Williams (1914 ~ 1983), who wrote, "When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

How can you love someone you don't know and don't spend time with? What is true for others also applies to yourself. How can you love yourself, if you don't spend time alone to get to know yourself. Being alone need not be the same as being lonely. For being alone is an opportunity for reflection, self-discovery, and growth. You will never be lonely if you like the person you are with. And no matter where you go, you will always be accompanied by yourself, so get to know and like that person.

The strongest trees are those that grow alone. The greatest dreams are those conceived alone. God can speak to you only when you are alone. Your purpose and life's meaning will be revealed to you only when you are alone. Yes, solitude is not the hovel of a recluse, but the mansion of a master. It is a place of joy. Yet, don't retreat to it to such an extent that you neglect others and deny yourself the blessings of friendship and companionship.

There's nothing questionable about the power of questions. If you're feeling lonely and don't know why, that's because you haven't been asking questions. Take an inventory of your behavior. Are you a show-off? Domineering? Moody? A complainer? A gossiper? Unreliable? Nosy? Short-tempered? A taker that doesn't know how to give? Do you build walls instead of bridges? Would you want to be friends with someone like you? Questions provoke thought and point to solutions. How can you take corrective action unless you ask yourself what you are doing wrong? If you are still mired in loneliness, is that because you're waiting to be rescued? (Don't hold your breath because help isn't on the way.) If you need a hand, you'll find it at the end of your own arm. There are lots you can do such as join a support group to master people skills. Learning about self-esteem, assertiveness, and how to overcome shyness and win friends can be a great deal of fun and put an end to your loneliness for good. Don't deprive others of the blessing of knowing you; be a friend!
By: Chuck Gallozzi  

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The Universe Within: Finding True Love

















While certainly we all have some parameters when we think of a mate, the truth is that the quality of the relationship is not so much about the "quality" of the two individuals as it is about the quality of the way they treat one another.

 Finding true love is not a matter of finding the perfect mate, but more about being ready and willing to give true love. What is true love? It is not "falling in love." It is what we do in the days, weeks, months and years afterwards. It is all the things described in Corinthians: it is patient, kind, does not envy, is not proud, rude, self-seeking nor easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs, does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth;
always protects, trusts, hopes and perseveres. Truly, that says it all.

To really love another is to be loving towards that being. Saying "I love you," often means "I want you," or "I like having you in my life," more than it is a statement about actively loving the other.
Active loving means being as concerned for the wellbeing of the other as for our own. It means getting our ego out of the way, so that we are not needy, controlling, judgmental or demanding. Actively loving another means we are neither critical nor hurtful. We are as careful around the feelings of our partner as we would be if there were a small kitten underfoot. We will go out of our way to ensure our words and actions will not be harmful, even accidentally.

It goes even deeper than this. Truly loving another means that we do not even think negative thoughts about the person. Everyone has aspects of their being that could be judged or criticized, but when we commit to loving another, we commit to hold only the purest thoughts about that person. This is so very important, because if we hold negative thoughts about someone, even if we do not utter them, they will know.
Holding pure thoughts of our beloved is the most powerful nutrient we can add to the garden of our love. It provides a safe and positive environment in which our loved one can blossom. The more that we create this for one another, the more beautiful and bountiful our garden.

Criticism and judgment are like hailstones that come crashing down, damaging the tender plants. Angry words and harsh actions are like strong winds that cause breakage and weakening. Non-communication or days of silence are like winter frosts, stopping the flow of life. Dishonesty or infidelity is like disease that slowly disfigures and eventually kills the blossom, if not the whole plant.

How often it happens that couples bring negativity into their relationship, but then blame the other when the relationship does not flourish. How ironic that some will try to "fix" the relationship by pointing out the defects of the partner. You cannot fix a relationship by bringing pain to your partner.
We can think of two partners as mirrors. If one starts reflecting negativity, it will be reflected back, often increasing in intensity, and gaining momentum with each reflection. If each reflects unconditional love and acceptance towards the other, it is like a hall of mirrors with endless reflections of love.
Truly loving another means only seeing the good, and reflecting that back to him or her. This applies to our children, as well as our partner. Ultimately, it also applies to every other human. This is what it is to be a loving being.

Maybe that is what relationships are for: the opportunity to practice growing in love, even when we are challenged, tired, irritable or cranky. It could be the highest purpose, with the greatest reward.
By: Gwen Randall-Young.

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Living a Happier Life


















Seven Secrets to Living a Happier (and Less Stressful) Life
We’ve all heard that some people tend to look at life optimistically with a “glass is half-full” approach. Others see life more pessimistically with the opposing “glass is half-empty” view. Those who are optimistic live happier lives because they realize that happiness is not a “thing” to be acquired, but a choice you make for yourself each and every day. Acquiring “things” to make yourself happy creates only a short-lived type of happiness. True, lasting happiness comes from deep within you and will attract all that you desire into your life. Strive for this type of happiness with the seven key steps below:


1. Avoid Complaining and Criticizing -- These produce a negative focus. Instead seek opportunities to praise others, to laugh and to practice kindness each day.

2. Become Non-Judgemental -- Judging others creates chaos in your inner dialogue. Instead strive for inner peace by learning to accept others as they are.

3. Practice Defenselessness – Relinquish the need to convince others of your point of view. When you have no point to defend, you release the burden of defensiveness and feel more relaxed, joyful and free.

4. Appreciate -- Begin to truly be thankful for all that you DO have! An easy way to practice appreciation and establish a positive focus is with a Gratitude Journal. Keep your journal beside your bed and write down five things you are thankful for each night before going to sleep. In no time you’ll realize just how much you already have to be thankful for.

5. Meditate -- Release resistance to your natural state of wellbeing by learning to quiet your mind. Going within promotes inner harmony
and will help you to experience more peace and tranquility in your life. The goal of meditation
is mindfulness which means living fully in the present moment without regretting the past or worrying about the future. Try centering yourself daily by lying quietly on your bed and focusing only on your breathing for 10 minutes, dismiss any thoughts that invade this quiet time and when your mind begins to wander, gently bring your focus back to your breathing. Its as easy as that!

6. Deliberately Choose Positive Thoughts -- Its important to realize that although you cannot control everything around you, you can control your own thoughts and reactions to outside stimuli. When you notice negative thoughts creeping in, pivot to a more positive, better feeling thought of something you would prefer. The key here is to think about what you DO want vs. what you do not want.

7. Have Faith -- People with faith are generally happier and more relaxed because they know that they are not alone. Learning to have faith, letting go and trusting that all will be well will lead to a deep sense of inner peace and to all you’ve been dreaming of.

Most of all remember that you are supposed to be happy and that the purpose of life is joy!
By Terry Marshall
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How To Attract Abundance

If you’re not currently living your life in abundance, then you should start doing something about it right now. Well actually, the supply of abundance all around us is more than enough, so all you have to do is ask. Being abundant is a state which involves wealth but means more than just that. Real genuine abundance is the state of being linked and conjoined to the primitive origin of everything that is, of manifesting a steadfast flow of positive and optimistic energy to extend and nurture love, life and artistry. Abundance is not just anything which lives and breathes outside you; instead, it is one state of being that is experienced in one’s mind.

Being abundant is effortless and limitless; it is experiencing bliss and happiness. The Law of Attraction declares that “you would attract in you those things that match your state of being.” So if you focus on the things that you lack, then the message you send forth is one of you don’t have and that is precisely what you will attract. On the contrary, if you imagine and develop a state of being abundant in your thoughts, you would pull more wealth into your life. To be able to lure abundance, be abundant and start to think and act as if you already possess and own all the things that you wish for.

Now, most people might think that if they try to amass more money, they can do anything and everything that they have ever dreamed and aspired of doing and inevitably, be much happier. Yet in fact, the reverse is true. When you start to create a status of joy and gladness, you begin to pull towards you not lack or scarcity, but wealth. You will find yourself be more inspired and motivated to do those things that may soon lead and direct to reaching the very physical state that matches your state of being. You might have heard or be familiar with an old proverb which says, “the rich is getting richer and richer and the poor is getting poorer and poorer.” This is not just because the rich have much more wealth which they invest to earn interest, but it’s also because of their state of being ample…it attracts more of it.

Therefore, think more abundant thoughts and you would begin to lure wealth. However, the problem with majority of us is that we have the tendency to concentrate on out scarcity or the things that we lack. We unknowingly do so when we place ourselves in the condition of always wanting. Therefore, instead of pulling abundance, you end up luring more lack and scarcity in your life. This expresses to the Universe that we are lacking rather than being richly supplied. To begin magnetizing wealth, see the world as ample and a welcoming place to live in. the supply of abundance in the universe is endless.

You may use an affirmation like, “I am able to draw the abundance in my life because I am in a state of abundance.”
By: Amy Twain

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